> ## Documentation Index > Fetch the complete documentation index at: https://docs.highailabs.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover all available pages before exploring further. # The Comedy Engine — Scripts > Eight comedy-first episodes written to animated-comedy grammar — cold open on dialogue, no burned-in text, 15-30 seconds. Script IDs CE-001 through CE-008. Rewritten against the [video teardowns](/social/teardowns#animated-comedy--the-grammar). Character: [Character Config](/social/character-config). Prompt format: [Production Spec](/social/scripts/production-spec#the-cantina-prompt-block). ## What Changed And Why The first draft opened every episode with Professor High narrating a hook to camera, carried burned-in text on every beat, and ran 30-45 seconds. Transcript analysis of the top animated comedy videos says all three are wrong for this format. | Was | Now | Evidence | | ------------------------- | ------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | Opens on narration | **Opens mid-scene, on dialogue** | Every top animated comedy video does. The 79M-view one opens *"Lunch is ready. Aiden, you have to eat your vegetables."* | | On-screen text every beat | **Text only as a punchline, or none** | Zero text stickers across every top comedy animation checked. Only *education* uses them — and education is the suppressed lane | | 30-45s | **15-30s** | The money zone. 7s → 38.1M, 25s → 79.0M | | Professor High opens | **Professor High cuts in at beat 2** | Keeps the observational posture that holds our compliance lane, without spending the cold open on narration | **The synthesis that resolves the tension.** Opening on the archetype's dialogue satisfies the grammar. Professor High cutting in *afterward* preserves the naturalist framing that keeps us out of the glorifying-use lane. We get both. **Every episode ends on the catchphrase.** *"This is why I'm high."* The line is the domain, so the sign-off does the funnel work with no "link in bio." Delivered flat and sincere, never explained, never in the first three seconds. See [The Funnel](/social/funnel#the-sign-off). ## The Format Cold open on an absurd, specific, recognisable consumer situation — already in progress. Professor High cuts in and explains, with total sincerity, the chemistry or industry mechanic behind it. The explanation *is* the punchline. ```mermaid theme={null} flowchart LR A["COLD OPEN
0-4s
archetype dialogue,
mid-scene"] --> B["PROF CUTS IN
4-8s
naturalist framing"] B --> C["ESCALATION
8-16s
each beat worse"] C --> D["THE POINT
16-25s
the real explanation"] D --> E["TAG
25-30s"] ``` **Compliance is unchanged and relaxed.** TikTok's current guidelines allow *"Fiction or art, unless it enables real-world access to regulated goods and services."* Animated cannabis comedy reaches the For You feed. What stays absolute: **no real-world access** — no products for sale, no dispensary or brand names, no purchase links. Professor High still does not consume. See [Compliance](/social/compliance). ## The Recurring Cast Each needs its own locked Cantina character. **Silhouette is a hook** — recognisable at thumbnail scale beats detail. | Character | The Bit | Design | | -------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | -------------------------------------------------------- | | **The Maximizer** | Buys exclusively by the biggest number. Optimising hard for the wrong variable | Cargo shorts, intense squint, always facing a menu board | | **The Oracle** | Explains your own high to you. Total confidence, zero accuracy | Reclined, gesturing philosophically, eyes half-closed | | **The Very Confident Budtender** | Has an answer for everything. The answer is "this one's fire" | Apron, name tag, unbreakable eye contact | | **The First-Timer** | Asks the question everyone else is too proud to ask | Small, upright, clutching a receipt | ## The Taxonomy Videos with a claimable two-word label ran **3,900-16,900 comments**. Videos without ran **52-370**. We had none. Now we do: Buys by the biggest number on the board. Believes potency is the product. Buys by the terpene panel. Believes the profile is the product. **"Chaser or Reader?"** is the recurring comment prompt across the pack. Binary, self-flattering to claim either way, and it maps directly onto the product thesis. *** ## CE-001 — The Maximizer | | | | ----------------- | --------------------------------------------------------------------- | | **Runtime** | 25 seconds | | **Register** | Comedy | | **CTA type** | Comment | | **Test variable** | Baseline. Does the new cold-open grammar beat the narrated original? | | **Data needed** | Verified: average THC 20.5%; fewer than 1 in 200 strains reaches 30%. | **Hooks** | Slot | ID | Line | | ---- | ------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------- | | A | `PI-20` | *(Cold open, mid-scene: the Maximizer already talking to a budtender)* | | B | `OL-01` | "This man paid ninety dollars to feel exactly the same." | | C | `CM-03` | "I'm about to hurt someone's feelings with math." | **Script** | Time | Dialogue | On Screen | Shot | | --------- | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ----------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------- | | 0:00-0:04 | MAXIMIZER: *(mid-sentence, pointing)* "—no, the other one. The thirty-one. Is there anything higher than the thirty-one?" | *(none)* | THE MAXIMIZER at a menu board, already talking + locked wide | | 0:04-0:09 | PROF: "He has not read a single strain name. He does not know what this is. He is scanning for one thing." | *(none)* | cut to Professor High, deadpan, direct to lens + static chest-up | | 0:09-0:15 | MAXIMIZER: "And that's the strongest one you got?" BUDTENDER: "That's the biggest number we got." MAXIMIZER: "Same thing." PROF: "It is not the same thing." | *(none)* | shot-reverse-shot at counter, then Prof + whip cut | | 0:15-0:22 | PROF: "Fewer than one in two hundred strains actually reaches thirty percent. Average is twenty and a half. He is paying a premium for a point and a half and a rounding error." | 1 IN 200 | Professor High, deadpan + slow push-in + THC chart, single card | | 0:22-0:25 | PROF: "Chaser or Reader? Comments." | CHASER OR READER? | Professor High, faint smile + static chest-up + closing card | **Caption** > He didn't read the strain name. He scanned for the biggest number. Fewer than 1 in 200 strains actually reaches 30% THC and the average is 20.5%. > > Chaser or Reader? Be honest. > > This is why I'm high → thisiswhyimhigh.com **Hashtags** `#thisiswhyimhigh` `#dispensary` `#thcpercentage` `#plantmedicine` `#cannabisculture` **Cantina Prompt** ```text theme={null} Professor High — THE COMEDY ENGINE — CE-001 Runtime: 25 seconds | 9:16 vertical CHARACTERS - professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the main cause of drift. - THE MAXIMIZER — SWAPPABLE. Use the-maximizer-v1 if you have built it, or cast ANY Cantina character who reads as: confident, decisive and completely wrong — optimising for the biggest number. - THE BUDTENDER — SWAPPABLE. Use the-budtender-v1 if you have built it, or cast ANY Cantina character who reads as: apron and name tag, likeable, has an answer for everything — never dishonest. - Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap rules: /social/cast TONE: Nature-documentary. Professor High observes with genuine scientific interest and zero judgment, the way a naturalist watches an animal do something inexplicable. Completely deadpan. He never winks at the camera. IMPORTANT — OPENING: Start COLD, mid-scene, mid-sentence. No title card, no logo, no narration first. The very first frame is THE MAXIMIZER already talking. Do not add any on-screen text before 0:15. ENVIRONMENT: A stylized generic dispensary counter — no real brand names, logos, or recognizable storefront. No product visible anywhere. A backlit menu board of names and percentages. Warm retail lighting. Professor High is cut in from his lab and is never physically in the shop. SHOTS + DIALOGUE: 1. (0:00-0:04) COLD OPEN. Locked wide. THE MAXIMIZER at the menu board, already mid-sentence, pointing. SAYS (MAXIMIZER): "—no, the other one. The thirty-one. Is there anything higher than the thirty-one?" ON SCREEN: nothing 2. (0:04-0:09) Cut to Professor High in the lab. Static chest-up, deadpan, direct to lens. SAYS (PROF): "He has not read a single strain name. He does not know what this is. He is scanning for one thing." ON SCREEN: nothing 3. (0:09-0:15) Whip cut back. Shot-reverse-shot across the counter, then back to Professor High for the last line. SAYS (MAXIMIZER): "And that's the strongest one you got?" SAYS (BUDTENDER): "That's the biggest number we got." SAYS (MAXIMIZER): "Same thing." SAYS (PROF): "It is not the same thing." ON SCREEN: nothing 4. (0:15-0:22) Slow push-in on Professor High, deadpan. A single THC distribution card enters the lower third. SAYS: "Fewer than one in two hundred strains actually reaches thirty percent. Average is twenty and a half. He is paying a premium for a point and a half and a rounding error." ON SCREEN: 1 IN 200 5. (0:22-0:25) Static chest-up, the faintest smile. Closing card. SAYS: "Chaser or Reader? Comments." ON SCREEN: CHASER OR READER? ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Use text ONLY on beats 4 and 5. Bold sans-serif, white with heavy stroke, lower third, pineapple yellow #D98E04 on the key term. Keep 250px clear at the bottom and 120px at the top. AUDIO: Original sound. Light nature-documentary bed — sparse strings. Voice normalized loudest. DO NOT: No smoking, no lit product, no cannabis paraphernalia in frame. No medical claims. No real dispensary, producer, or lab names. No logos. Do not depict anyone consuming. ``` *** ## CE-002 — The Oracle | | | | ----------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | **Runtime** | 25 seconds | | **Register** | Comedy | | **CTA type** | Comment | | **Test variable** | The indica/sativa myth — empirically the highest-converting cannabis topic — delivered as comedy rather than explainer. | | **Data needed** | Verified: myrcene leads nearly half of all cannabis. | **Hooks** | Slot | ID | Line | | ---- | ------- | ---------------------------------------------------- | | A | `PI-21` | *(Cold open: the Oracle mid-sentence, no context)* | | B | `OL-02` | "Everything this man is about to tell you is wrong." | | C | `BC-02` | "Indica and sativa don't exist anymore." | **Script** | Time | Dialogue | On Screen | Shot | | --------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------ | ------------------------------------------------------------------- | | 0:00-0:04 | ORACLE: *(mid-sentence)* "—see, this one's a sativa, so it goes to your *head*. Indica goes to your *body*. That's just science." | *(none)* | THE ORACLE reclined, gesturing + locked wide | | 0:04-0:08 | PROF: "It is not science. It is shelf labelling." | *(none)* | cut to Professor High, deadpan + static chest-up | | 0:08-0:16 | PROF: "Indica and sativa describe plant shape. Not effect. And myrcene — the one most associated with sedation — leads nearly half of everything on that shelf, whichever word is on the jar." | IT DESCRIBES PLANT SHAPE | Professor High, direct to lens + slow push-in + single terpene card | | 0:16-0:21 | ORACLE: *(still going, unaware)* "—it's about the *vibes* of the plant, you feel me—" PROF: "He cannot hear me." | *(none)* | split frame, Oracle talking, Prof unmoved + locked wide | | 0:21-0:25 | PROF: "Everyone knows an Oracle. Tag them." | TAG AN ORACLE | Professor High, faint smile + static chest-up + closing card | **Caption** > "That's just science." It is not science. Indica and sativa describe plant shape, not effect — and myrcene, the one most associated with sedation, leads nearly half of what's on the shelf regardless of the label. > > Tag an Oracle. > > This is why I'm high → thisiswhyimhigh.com **Hashtags** `#thisiswhyimhigh` `#indicavssativa` `#terpenes` `#plantmedicine` `#cannabisculture` **Cantina Prompt** ```text theme={null} Professor High — THE COMEDY ENGINE — CE-002 Runtime: 25 seconds | 9:16 vertical CHARACTERS - professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the main cause of drift. - THE ORACLE — SWAPPABLE. Use the-oracle-v1 if you have built it, or cast ANY Cantina character who reads as: reclined and generous, explains your own experience to you with total confidence. - Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap rules: /social/cast TONE: Professor High is a patient naturalist watching a confident creature be confidently wrong. Deadpan, never cruel. THE ORACLE is utterly serene and completely certain. Neither acknowledges the camera or the joke. IMPORTANT — OPENING: Start COLD, mid-sentence. First frame is THE ORACLE already talking. No title card, no narration first, no on-screen text before 0:08. ENVIRONMENT: A stylized generic living room — couch, low lamp, nothing identifiable. No product or paraphernalia anywhere in frame. Professor High is cut in from his lab and is never in the room. SHOTS + DIALOGUE: 1. (0:00-0:04) COLD OPEN. Locked wide. THE ORACLE reclined, gesturing philosophically, caught mid-sentence. SAYS (ORACLE): "—see, this one's a sativa, so it goes to your head. Indica goes to your body. That's just science." ON SCREEN: nothing 2. (0:04-0:08) Cut to Professor High, static chest-up, deadpan. SAYS: "It is not science. It is shelf labelling." ON SCREEN: nothing 3. (0:08-0:16) Slow push-in, direct to lens. One terpene card in the lower third. SAYS: "Indica and sativa describe plant shape. Not effect. And myrcene — the one most associated with sedation — leads nearly half of everything on that shelf, whichever word is on the jar." ON SCREEN: IT DESCRIBES PLANT SHAPE 4. (0:16-0:21) Split frame. THE ORACLE still talking, unaware. Professor High unmoved on the other side. SAYS (ORACLE): "—it's about the vibes of the plant, you feel me—" SAYS (PROF): "He cannot hear me." ON SCREEN: nothing 5. (0:21-0:25) Static chest-up, the faintest smile. Closing card. SAYS: "Everyone knows an Oracle. Tag them." ON SCREEN: TAG AN ORACLE ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Text ONLY on beats 3 and 5. Bold sans-serif, white with heavy stroke, lower third, pineapple yellow #D98E04 on key terms. Keep 250px clear at the bottom and 120px at the top. AUDIO: Original sound. Light nature-documentary bed. Voice normalized loudest. DO NOT: No smoking, no lit product, no paraphernalia in frame. No medical claims. No real brand names or logos. Do not depict anyone consuming. ``` *** ## CE-003 — "This One's Fire" | | | | ----------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | **Runtime** | 25 seconds | | **Register** | Comedy | | **CTA type** | Save | | **Test variable** | Institutional framing — the strongest structure in the teardowns. The retail counter as the formal system. | | **Data needed** | Verified: three terpenes lead 86% of all cannabis. | The budtender is never the villain. The industry hands them no training and puts them on the counter. Every version must land there. **Hooks** | Slot | ID | Line | | ---- | ------- | --------------------------------------------------------------- | | A | `PI-22` | *(Cold open: "this one's fire," hard cut, again)* | | B | `OL-03` | "This is the most-used phrase in the entire cannabis industry." | | C | `KG-06` | "Nobody told you what 'top shelf' actually means." | **Script** | Time | Dialogue | On Screen | Shot | | --------- | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | --------------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------- | | 0:00-0:05 | BUDTENDER: "This one's fire." CUSTOMER: "What's in it?" BUDTENDER: "It's fire." CUSTOMER: "But what's *in* it—" BUDTENDER: "Fire." | *(none)* | rapid shot-reverse-shot at counter + locked wide | | 0:05-0:11 | PROF: "He is not lying. He believes this completely. He was handed forty products this month and trained on none of them." | *(none)* | cut to Professor High, deadpan + static chest-up | | 0:11-0:20 | PROF: "So stop asking what's strong. Ask what the dominant terpene is. Three of them lead eighty-six percent of everything back there — so the answer is actually useful." | ASK: WHAT'S DOMINANT? | Professor High, direct to lens + slow push-in + one terpene card | | 0:20-0:23 | BUDTENDER: *(long pause)* "…It's fire." PROF: "We will get there." | *(none)* | locked wide on budtender, unbroken eye contact | | 0:23-0:25 | PROF: "Save this for the counter." | SAVE THIS | Professor High + static chest-up + closing card | **Caption** > "This one's fire" is the most-used phrase in cannabis retail, and he isn't lying — he was handed forty products this month and trained on none of them. > > Ask what the dominant terpene is instead. Three terpenes lead 86% of everything back there. > > This is why I'm high → thisiswhyimhigh.com **Hashtags** `#thisiswhyimhigh` `#budtender` `#dispensary` `#terpenes` `#cannabisculture` **Cantina Prompt** ```text theme={null} Professor High — THE COMEDY ENGINE — CE-003 Runtime: 25 seconds | 9:16 vertical CHARACTERS - professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the main cause of drift. - THE BUDTENDER — SWAPPABLE. Use the-budtender-v1 if you have built it, or cast ANY Cantina character who reads as: apron and name tag, likeable, has an answer for everything — never dishonest. - THE FIRST-TIMER — SWAPPABLE. Use the-first-timer-v1 if you have built it, or cast ANY Cantina character who reads as: small, upright and sincere, asks the question nobody else will. - Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap rules: /social/cast TONE: Warm and deadpan. Professor High has real sympathy for this person — the joke is the industry, never the worker. THE BUDTENDER is sincere, friendly and completely out of information. IMPORTANT — OPENING: Start COLD on the counter exchange. First frame is dialogue already happening. No title card, no narration first, no on-screen text before 0:11. ENVIRONMENT: A stylized generic dispensary counter — no real brand names or logos, no product visible. Warm retail lighting. Professor High cuts in from his lab. SHOTS + DIALOGUE: 1. (0:00-0:05) COLD OPEN. Rapid shot-reverse-shot across the counter. THE BUDTENDER holds unbreakable friendly eye contact throughout. SAYS (BUDTENDER): "This one's fire." SAYS (CUSTOMER): "What's in it?" SAYS (BUDTENDER): "It's fire." SAYS (CUSTOMER): "But what's in it—" SAYS (BUDTENDER): "Fire." ON SCREEN: nothing 2. (0:05-0:11) Cut to Professor High, static chest-up, deadpan. SAYS: "He is not lying. He believes this completely. He was handed forty products this month and trained on none of them." ON SCREEN: nothing 3. (0:11-0:20) Slow push-in, direct to lens. One terpene card enters. SAYS: "So stop asking what's strong. Ask what the dominant terpene is. Three of them lead eighty-six percent of everything back there — so the answer is actually useful." ON SCREEN: ASK: WHAT'S DOMINANT? 4. (0:20-0:23) Locked wide back on THE BUDTENDER. A long beat. Eye contact never breaks. SAYS (BUDTENDER): "...It's fire." SAYS (PROF): "We will get there." ON SCREEN: nothing 5. (0:23-0:25) Static chest-up on Professor High. Closing card. SAYS: "Save this for the counter." ON SCREEN: SAVE THIS ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Text ONLY on beats 3 and 5. Bold sans-serif, white with heavy stroke, lower third. Keep 250px clear at bottom, 120px at top. AUDIO: Original sound. Light nature-documentary bed. Voice normalized loudest. DO NOT: No smoking, no lit product, no paraphernalia. No medical claims. No real dispensary, producer, or lab names. No logos. Never portray the budtender as stupid or malicious. ``` *** ## CE-004 — The 1 AM Decision Tree | | | | ----------------- | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | **Runtime** | 20 seconds | | **Register** | Comedy | | **CTA type** | Comment | | **Test variable** | **The most important test in the library.** Almost fact-free by design. Does the audience want the fact at all, or just the joke? | | **Data needed** | None. Deliberately minimal. | **Hooks** | Slot | ID | Line | | ---- | ------- | ----------------------------------------------------------- | | A | `PI-19` | *(Cold open: a hand frozen mid-reach, clock reads 1:04 AM)* | | B | `OL-04` | "This decision will take him nineteen minutes." | | C | `CM-07` | "Your four favorite strains are the same strain. Sorry." | **Script** | Time | Dialogue | On Screen | Shot | | --------- | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------ | | 0:00-0:04 | *(no dialogue — a cupboard opens, closes, opens again. Clock: 1:04 AM)* | *(none)* | locked wide, a hand at an open cupboard | | 0:04-0:09 | PROF: "This decision will take him nineteen minutes. The options have not changed since he checked four minutes ago." | *(none)* | cut to Professor High, deadpan + static chest-up | | 0:09-0:14 | *(fridge opens, cold light, nothing appealing. Clock: 1:11 AM)* PROF: "He knows there is nothing in there. He will open it twice more." | *(none)* | whip cut, fridge door, clock visible | | 0:14-0:18 | PROF: "This is myrcene. Nearly half of all cannabis, and appetite is the most consistently reported thing about it. He is not indecisive. He is chemically thorough." | HE IS CHEMICALLY THOROUGH | Professor High, direct to lens + slow push-in | | 0:18-0:20 | *(cereal box on the counter. Clock: 1:23 AM)* PROF: "It was always cereal." | *(none)* | locked wide, cereal box | **Caption** > The options have not changed. He is checking again. > > Myrcene leads nearly half of all cannabis and appetite is the most consistently reported thing about it. He's not indecisive, he's chemically thorough. How long does yours take? > > This is why I'm high → thisiswhyimhigh.com **Hashtags** `#thisiswhyimhigh` `#myrcene` `#cannabisculture` `#plantmedicine` `#relatable` **Cantina Prompt** ```text theme={null} Professor High — THE COMEDY ENGINE — CE-004 Runtime: 20 seconds | 9:16 vertical CHARACTERS - professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the main cause of drift. - No supporting cast — Professor High alone. - Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap rules: /social/cast TONE: Pure nature-documentary. Professor High narrates an ordinary domestic scene with the gravity of a wildlife observation. Deadpan, warm, never mocking. IMPORTANT — OPENING: Start COLD with NO dialogue at all. First four seconds are pure visual — a cupboard opening and closing. No title card, no narration, no on-screen text before 0:14. ENVIRONMENT: A stylized generic kitchen at night — dim, single overhead light, a wall clock clearly readable. Nothing cannabis-related in frame. The person is shown only as hands, silhouette and back-of-head — never an identifiable face. Professor High cuts in from his lab. SHOTS + DIALOGUE: 1. (0:00-0:04) COLD OPEN, silent. Locked wide. A hand opens a cupboard, closes it, opens it again. Wall clock reads 1:04 AM. SAYS: nothing ON SCREEN: nothing 2. (0:04-0:09) Cut to Professor High, static chest-up, deadpan. SAYS: "This decision will take him nineteen minutes. The options have not changed since he checked four minutes ago." ON SCREEN: nothing 3. (0:09-0:14) Whip cut. Refrigerator door swings open, cold light spills out, nothing inside looks appealing. Clock now reads 1:11 AM. SAYS: "He knows there is nothing in there. He will open it twice more." ON SCREEN: nothing 4. (0:14-0:18) Slow push-in on Professor High, direct to lens. SAYS: "This is myrcene. Nearly half of all cannabis, and appetite is the most consistently reported thing about it. He is not indecisive. He is chemically thorough." ON SCREEN: HE IS CHEMICALLY THOROUGH 5. (0:18-0:20) Locked wide back in the kitchen. A cereal box on the counter. Clock reads 1:23 AM. SAYS: "It was always cereal." ON SCREEN: nothing ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Text ONLY on beat 4. Bold sans-serif, white with heavy stroke, lower third. Keep 250px clear at bottom, 120px at top. AUDIO: Original sound. Sparse nature-documentary bed, room tone audible. Voice normalized loudest. DO NOT: No smoking, no lit product, no paraphernalia. No medical claims. No real brand names or logos. Do not depict anyone consuming or visibly intoxicated — the scene is entirely about the decision. ``` *** ## CE-005 — The Tolerance Guy | | | | ----------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | | **Runtime** | 25 seconds | | **Register** | Comedy | | **CTA type** | Comment | | **Test variable** | Does a roast aimed at a segment of the audience still get shared *by* that audience? | | **Data needed** | None from database — CB1 receptor pharmacology only. | **Hooks** | Slot | ID | Line | | ---- | ------- | ---------------------------------------------------- | | A | `PI-23` | *(Cold open: mid-brag, no context)* | | B | `OL-05` | "This man is about to tell you about his tolerance." | | C | `CT-05` | "High THC is why you're not getting high." | **Script** | Time | Dialogue | On Screen | Shot | | --------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------ | ------------------------------------------------------------- | | 0:00-0:05 | ORACLE: *(mid-brag)* "—honestly at this point it barely does anything to me. I think I'm just built different." | *(none)* | THE ORACLE leaning in, already talking + locked wide | | 0:05-0:09 | PROF: "He is not built different. His receptors are." | *(none)* | cut to Professor High, deadpan + static chest-up | | 0:09-0:18 | PROF: "Consistent exposure, so the brain quietly keeps fewer CB1 receivers available. Same amount, fewer places to land. That is a thermostat, not a personality trait — and the fix is time, not something stronger." | A THERMOSTAT, NOT A FLEX | Professor High, direct to lens + slow push-in + receptor card | | 0:18-0:22 | ORACLE: *(unaware)* "—I might have to move up to concentrates—" PROF: "He is moving up to concentrates." | *(none)* | locked wide, Oracle still going | | 0:22-0:25 | PROF: "Tag him. Gently." | TAG HIM. GENTLY. | Professor High, faint smile + static chest-up + closing card | **Caption** > "I'm just built different." He is not built different — his CB1 receptors downregulated. Consistent exposure means the brain keeps fewer receivers available. > > It's a thermostat, not a personality trait. And the fix is time, not something stronger. > > This is why I'm high → thisiswhyimhigh.com **Hashtags** `#thisiswhyimhigh` `#tolerancebreak` `#cannabisscience` `#plantmedicine` `#cannabisculture` **Cantina Prompt** ```text theme={null} Professor High — THE COMEDY ENGINE — CE-005 Runtime: 25 seconds | 9:16 vertical CHARACTERS - professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the main cause of drift. - THE ORACLE — SWAPPABLE. Use the-oracle-v1 if you have built it, or cast ANY Cantina character who reads as: reclined and generous, explains your own experience to you with total confidence. - Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap rules: /social/cast TONE: Affectionate roast. Professor High is fond of this person and will not let the claim stand. Deadpan, warm, never contemptuous. THE ORACLE is sincere and slightly proud. IMPORTANT — OPENING: Start COLD, mid-brag. First frame is THE ORACLE already talking. No title card, no narration first, no on-screen text before 0:09. ENVIRONMENT: A stylized generic living room — couch, low lamp, nothing identifiable, no product or paraphernalia. Professor High cuts in from his lab. SHOTS + DIALOGUE: 1. (0:00-0:05) COLD OPEN. Locked wide. THE ORACLE leaning in, already mid-thought. SAYS (ORACLE): "—honestly at this point it barely does anything to me. I think I'm just built different." ON SCREEN: nothing 2. (0:05-0:09) Cut to Professor High, static chest-up, deadpan. SAYS: "He is not built different. His receptors are." ON SCREEN: nothing 3. (0:09-0:18) Slow push-in, direct to lens. A receptor diagram enters the lower third, receiver count visibly reducing. SAYS: "Consistent exposure, so the brain quietly keeps fewer CB1 receivers available. Same amount, fewer places to land. That is a thermostat, not a personality trait — and the fix is time, not something stronger." ON SCREEN: A THERMOSTAT, NOT A FLEX 4. (0:18-0:22) Locked wide back on THE ORACLE, still going, unaware. SAYS (ORACLE): "—I might have to move up to concentrates—" SAYS (PROF): "He is moving up to concentrates." ON SCREEN: nothing 5. (0:22-0:25) Static chest-up on Professor High, faintest smile. SAYS: "Tag him. Gently." ON SCREEN: TAG HIM. GENTLY. ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Text ONLY on beats 3 and 5. Bold sans-serif, white with heavy stroke, lower third. Keep 250px clear at bottom, 120px at top. AUDIO: Original sound. Light nature-documentary bed. Voice normalized loudest. DO NOT: No smoking, no lit product, no paraphernalia. No medical claims. No real brand names or logos. Do not depict anyone consuming or visibly intoxicated. ``` *** ## CE-006 — The First-Timer | | | | ----------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | **Runtime** | 30 seconds | | **Register** | Comedy, warm | | **CTA type** | Follow | | **Test variable** | Warmth vs roast. Every other episode roasts an archetype; this one defends one. Compare share rate directly against `CE-005`. | | **Data needed** | Verified: Blue Dream is the most popular strain overall, myrcene-dominant, 20.5% THC. | **Hooks** | Slot | ID | Line | | ---- | ------- | --------------------------------------------------------- | | A | `PI-24` | *(Cold open: the room goes silent after one question)* | | B | `OL-06` | "She just asked the only smart question in the building." | | C | `ST-02` | "Someone sent me this receipt and I had questions." | **Script** | Time | Dialogue | On Screen | Shot | | --------- | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------ | --------------------------------------------------- | | 0:00-0:05 | FIRST-TIMER: "Sorry — what does any of this actually mean?" *(silence. Nobody answers.)* | *(none)* | locked wide, whole room frozen | | 0:05-0:10 | PROF: "She just asked the only smart question in the building. Watch what happens." | *(none)* | cut to Professor High, warm + static chest-up | | 0:10-0:16 | MAXIMIZER: "…It's a thirty-one." ORACLE: "It's a sativa, so—" BUDTENDER: "It's fire." PROF: "Nobody here knows." | *(none)* | quick cuts between the three archetypes + whip cut | | 0:16-0:25 | PROF: "So here is the real answer. Blue Dream. Most popular strain there is, myrcene-dominant, twenty and a half percent THC — dead average. And average is exactly right on day one." | AVERAGE IS EXACTLY RIGHT | Professor High, warm, direct to lens + slow push-in | | 0:25-0:28 | PROF: "Two puffs. Wait twenty minutes. Nobody has ever regretted going slow." | 2 PUFFS. WAIT 20. | Professor High, warm + static chest-up | | 0:28-0:30 | PROF: "She's already ahead of three people in this room. Follow — I answer these." | *(none)* | locked wide, First-Timer nods once | **Caption** > "Sorry — what does any of this actually mean?" is the only smart question in the building, and nobody there could answer it. > > Blue Dream, myrcene-dominant, 20.5% THC — dead average, which is exactly right on day one. Two puffs, wait twenty minutes. > > This is why I'm high → thisiswhyimhigh.com **Hashtags** `#thisiswhyimhigh` `#cannabis101` `#dispensary` `#plantmedicine` `#bluedream` **Cantina Prompt** ```text theme={null} Professor High — THE COMEDY ENGINE — CE-006 Runtime: 30 seconds | 9:16 vertical CHARACTERS - professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the main cause of drift. - THE MAXIMIZER — SWAPPABLE. Use the-maximizer-v1 if you have built it, or cast ANY Cantina character who reads as: confident, decisive and completely wrong — optimising for the biggest number. - THE ORACLE — SWAPPABLE. Use the-oracle-v1 if you have built it, or cast ANY Cantina character who reads as: reclined and generous, explains your own experience to you with total confidence. - THE BUDTENDER — SWAPPABLE. Use the-budtender-v1 if you have built it, or cast ANY Cantina character who reads as: apron and name tag, likeable, has an answer for everything — never dishonest. - THE FIRST-TIMER — SWAPPABLE. Use the-first-timer-v1 if you have built it, or cast ANY Cantina character who reads as: small, upright and sincere, asks the question nobody else will. - Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap rules: /social/cast TONE: Warm and protective, documentary framing intact. This is the one episode where Professor High is openly on someone's side. Never mocking her — the other three archetypes are the joke. IMPORTANT — OPENING: Start COLD on her question and the silence that follows. No title card, no narration first, no on-screen text before 0:16. ENVIRONMENT: A stylized generic dispensary interior — no real brand names or logos, no product visible. Warm retail lighting. Professor High cuts in from his lab. SHOTS + DIALOGUE: 1. (0:00-0:05) COLD OPEN. Locked wide. THE FIRST-TIMER small and upright at a counter, clutching a receipt. She asks. The whole room freezes. Hold the silence a beat too long. SAYS (FIRST-TIMER): "Sorry — what does any of this actually mean?" ON SCREEN: nothing 2. (0:05-0:10) Cut to Professor High, static chest-up, warm. SAYS: "She just asked the only smart question in the building. Watch what happens." ON SCREEN: nothing 3. (0:10-0:16) Whip cut between the three archetypes, each giving a useless answer. SAYS (MAXIMIZER): "...It's a thirty-one." SAYS (ORACLE): "It's a sativa, so—" SAYS (BUDTENDER): "It's fire." SAYS (PROF): "Nobody here knows." ON SCREEN: nothing 4. (0:16-0:25) Slow push-in on Professor High, warm, direct to lens. SAYS: "So here is the real answer. Blue Dream. Most popular strain there is, myrcene-dominant, twenty and a half percent THC — dead average. And average is exactly right on day one." ON SCREEN: AVERAGE IS EXACTLY RIGHT 5. (0:25-0:28) Static chest-up, warm. Timer graphic. SAYS: "Two puffs. Wait twenty minutes. Nobody has ever regretted going slow." ON SCREEN: 2 PUFFS. WAIT 20. 6. (0:28-0:30) Locked wide back on THE FIRST-TIMER. A small, steady nod. SAYS (PROF): "She's already ahead of three people in this room. Follow — I answer these." ON SCREEN: nothing ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Text ONLY on beats 4 and 5. Bold sans-serif, white with heavy stroke, lower third. Keep 250px clear at bottom, 120px at top. AUDIO: Original sound. Light nature-documentary bed, warmer in the final third. Voice normalized loudest. DO NOT: No smoking, no lit product, no paraphernalia. No medical claims. No real dispensary, producer, or lab names. No logos. Do not depict anyone consuming. ``` *** ## CE-007 — "This Edible Ain't Shit" | | | | ----------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | **Runtime** | 15 seconds | | **Register** | Comedy | | **CTA type** | Comment | | **Test variable** | **The signature recurring format.** Two-beat reversal — the most documented structure in stoner comedy. Two poses, infinitely re-skinnable. | | **Data needed** | None from database — documented pharmacology only. | **Built to recur.** Same two beats, different subject every time — a different dose, a different product, a different person. Needs exactly two character poses and delivers genuinely useful onset-timing information as a joke. See [the format's lineage](/social/teardowns#1-this-edible-aint-shit--the-format-to-make-our-signature-bit). **Hooks** | Slot | ID | Line | | ---- | ------- | ------------------------------------------------ | | A | `PI-25` | *(Cold open: the line itself, no setup)* | | B | `OL-94` | "This man has forty minutes left of being fine." | | C | `KG-01` | "There's a reason edibles hit ten times harder." | **Script** | Time | Dialogue | On Screen | Shot | | --------- | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | --------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------ | | 0:00-0:03 | ORACLE: *(entirely calm, checking a watch)* "Yeah, this edible ain't doing anything." | *(none)* | THE ORACLE, composed, seated + locked wide | | 0:03-0:06 | PROF: "Forty minutes." | *(none)* | cut to Professor High, deadpan + static chest-up | | 0:06-0:09 | *(hard cut. Same chair, same framing. The Oracle has not moved but is entirely gone.)* | *(none)* | identical locked wide, one hour later | | 0:09-0:14 | PROF: "Your liver turns THC into a different compound before you feel it. That is the delay. That is also why it does not stop where you expected." | YOUR LIVER CHANGED THE DRUG | Professor High, direct to lens + slow push-in | | 0:14-0:15 | PROF: "Every time." | *(none)* | static chest-up, deadpan | **Caption** > Forty minutes. Every time. > > Your liver converts THC into a different compound before you feel it — that's the delay, and it's also why it doesn't stop where you expected. > > This is why I'm high → thisiswhyimhigh.com **Hashtags** `#thisiswhyimhigh` `#edibles` `#cannabisscience` `#plantmedicine` `#cannabisculture` **Cantina Prompt** ```text theme={null} Professor High — THE COMEDY ENGINE — CE-007 Runtime: 15 seconds | 9:16 vertical CHARACTERS - professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the main cause of drift. - THE ORACLE — SWAPPABLE. Use the-oracle-v1 if you have built it, or cast ANY Cantina character who reads as: reclined and generous, explains your own experience to you with total confidence. - Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap rules: /social/cast TONE: Completely deadpan on both sides. THE ORACLE is genuinely calm in beat 1 and genuinely vacant in beat 3 — no mugging, no comedy faces. The humour is in the hard cut and the identical framing. IMPORTANT — OPENING: Start COLD on the line. No title card, no setup, no narration first. No on-screen text before 0:09. CRITICAL — THE MATCH CUT: Beats 1 and 3 must use the IDENTICAL camera position, framing, lighting and chair. Only the character's state changes. The comedy is entirely in the sameness of the frame. ENVIRONMENT: A stylized generic living room — couch or armchair, low lamp, nothing identifiable, no product or paraphernalia anywhere. Professor High cuts in from his lab. SHOTS + DIALOGUE: 1. (0:00-0:03) COLD OPEN. Locked wide. THE ORACLE seated, composed, checking a watch, entirely unbothered. SAYS (ORACLE): "Yeah, this edible ain't doing anything." ON SCREEN: nothing 2. (0:03-0:06) Cut to Professor High, static chest-up, deadpan. SAYS: "Forty minutes." ON SCREEN: nothing 3. (0:06-0:09) HARD CUT back to the IDENTICAL locked wide. Same chair, same framing, same light. THE ORACLE has not moved but is completely gone — eyes vacant, absolutely still. No comedy face. SAYS: nothing ON SCREEN: nothing 4. (0:09-0:14) Slow push-in on Professor High, direct to lens. SAYS: "Your liver turns THC into a different compound before you feel it. That is the delay. That is also why it does not stop where you expected." ON SCREEN: YOUR LIVER CHANGED THE DRUG 5. (0:14-0:15) Static chest-up, deadpan. SAYS: "Every time." ON SCREEN: nothing ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Text ONLY on beat 4. Bold sans-serif, white with heavy stroke, lower third. Keep 250px clear at bottom, 120px at top. AUDIO: Original sound. Near-silence under beats 1-3 — let the hard cut land with no music. Bed enters on beat 4. DO NOT: No smoking, no lit product, no edible or packaging visible in frame, no paraphernalia. No medical claims. No real brand names. Do not show anyone consuming — beat 1 is after the fact. ``` *** ## CE-008 — The Paranoia Spiral | | | | ----------------- | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | **Runtime** | 20 seconds | | **Register** | Comedy, warm underneath | | **CTA type** | Comment | | **Test variable** | Paranoia as comedy rather than the straight explainer in `WRH-003`. Highest comment-rate candidate — the teardowns show this topic converts comment sections into confessionals. | | **Data needed** | Verified: limonene leads about 1 in 4 strains. | A character that only depicts the good outcome is an ad. One that acknowledges paranoia is a friend — and for a strain-intelligence product, "which strain, which dose, which ratio" is exactly the question this beat sets up. **Hooks** | Slot | ID | Line | | ---- | ------- | ------------------------------------------------------------ | | A | `PI-26` | *(Cold open: mid-spiral, no context)* | | B | `PA-04` | "That 'calming' strain made you anxious. Here's the reason." | | C | `OL-02` | "Everything this man is about to tell you is wrong." | **Script** | Time | Dialogue | On Screen | Shot | | --------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | ------------------- | -------------------------------------------------------- | | 0:00-0:05 | MAXIMIZER: *(whispering, rigid)* "Do you think they know? They know. Why is the fridge doing that. Has it always done that." | *(none)* | THE MAXIMIZER frozen on a couch, wide-eyed + locked wide | | 0:05-0:09 | PROF: "The fridge has always done that. He has lived here four years." | *(none)* | cut to Professor High, deadpan + static chest-up | | 0:09-0:16 | PROF: "This is a ratio problem, not a character flaw. High THC with very little limonene or linalool beside it is the pattern that produces this — and limonene only leads about one in four strains." | A RATIO, NOT A FLAW | Professor High, warm, direct to lens + slow push-in | | 0:16-0:19 | MAXIMIZER: *(still whispering)* "…Should I turn it off." PROF: "Do not turn off the fridge." | *(none)* | locked wide, unchanged | | 0:19-0:20 | PROF: "Which one of you is this?" | *(none)* | static chest-up, faint smile | **Caption** > The fridge has always done that. He has lived there four years. > > Anxiety on cannabis is a ratio problem, not a character flaw — high THC with little limonene or linalool beside it is the pattern. Limonene only leads about 1 in 4 strains. Which one of you is this? > > This is why I'm high → thisiswhyimhigh.com **Hashtags** `#thisiswhyimhigh` `#limonene` `#cannabisscience` `#plantmedicine` `#cannabisculture` **Cantina Prompt** ```text theme={null} Professor High — THE COMEDY ENGINE — CE-008 Runtime: 20 seconds | 9:16 vertical CHARACTERS - professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the main cause of drift. - THE MAXIMIZER — SWAPPABLE. Use the-maximizer-v1 if you have built it, or cast ANY Cantina character who reads as: confident, decisive and completely wrong — optimising for the biggest number. - Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap rules: /social/cast TONE: The character plays it completely straight and genuinely worried — never comic panic, never mugging. Professor High is warm and unbothered, the way a friend is when they know you are fine. Never mocking. The audience should recognise themselves and feel seen, not laughed at. IMPORTANT — OPENING: Start COLD, mid-spiral. First frame is THE MAXIMIZER already whispering. No title card, no narration first, no on-screen text before 0:09. ENVIRONMENT: A stylized generic living room at night — couch, one lamp, a refrigerator audible but out of frame. Nothing cannabis-related visible, no product, no paraphernalia. Professor High cuts in from his lab. SHOTS + DIALOGUE: 1. (0:00-0:05) COLD OPEN. Locked wide. THE MAXIMIZER rigid on a couch, wide-eyed, whispering, barely moving. SAYS (MAXIMIZER): "Do you think they know? They know. Why is the fridge doing that. Has it always done that." ON SCREEN: nothing 2. (0:05-0:09) Cut to Professor High, static chest-up, deadpan. SAYS: "The fridge has always done that. He has lived here four years." ON SCREEN: nothing 3. (0:09-0:16) Slow push-in, warm, direct to lens. SAYS: "This is a ratio problem, not a character flaw. High THC with very little limonene or linalool beside it is the pattern that produces this — and limonene only leads about one in four strains." ON SCREEN: A RATIO, NOT A FLAW 4. (0:16-0:19) Locked wide back, completely unchanged from beat 1. SAYS (MAXIMIZER): "...Should I turn it off." SAYS (PROF): "Do not turn off the fridge." ON SCREEN: nothing 5. (0:19-0:20) Static chest-up on Professor High, faint smile. SAYS: "Which one of you is this?" ON SCREEN: nothing ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Text ONLY on beat 3. Bold sans-serif, white with heavy stroke, lower third. Keep 250px clear at bottom, 120px at top. AUDIO: Original sound. Near-silence with a faint refrigerator hum under beats 1-2. Warm bed enters on beat 3. DO NOT: No smoking, no lit product, no paraphernalia. No medical claims — this is an observation about terpene ratios, not advice about anxiety. No real brand names. Do not depict anyone consuming. ``` *** ## Production Batch Notes * **Build the four archetype characters first.** Locked, saved, reference stills archived. Silhouette matters more than detail — recognisable at thumbnail scale. * **The cold open is the whole change.** If a generation opens on Professor High instead of on the archetype, it is wrong. Regenerate. * **Text discipline:** beats without a text cue get **no text**. The instinct to caption everything is education grammar, and education is the grammar being suppressed. * **Professor High narrates; he never enters the scene.** Always cut in from the lab. This is what preserves the observational framing that holds our compliance position. * **Never punch down.** Every archetype is sincere and optimising badly. The target is the industry and the information gap, never the person's intelligence. * **`CE-007` is the one to make recurring.** Two poses, one match cut, infinite subjects. If it lands, it becomes the signature bit and ships weekly. * **`CE-004` remains the most important test** — almost fact-free by design. If it beats the fact-carrying episodes, education gets lighter across the whole library. * **`CE-005` vs `CE-006`** is the roast-versus-warmth read. Whichever wins sets the default posture. * Every episode ends on a comment prompt. **"Chaser or Reader?"** is the recurring one — a claimable binary is what turns viewers into commenters. ## Related The grammar this pack was rewritten against. The fiction allowance and the one hard limit. Operating spec for the series.