> ## Documentation Index
> Fetch the complete documentation index at: https://docs.highailabs.com/llms.txt
> Use this file to discover all available pages before exploring further.
# If Labels Told The Truth — Scripts
> Five parody-label episodes. Screenshot bait carrying the brand thesis. Script IDs LBL-001 through LBL-005.
Show concept: [If Labels Told The Truth](/social/shows/if-labels-told-truth). Character and shot rules: [Production Spec](/social/scripts/production-spec). Numbers: [Verified Data Sheet](/social/scripts/verified-data).
**Every episode ends on the catchphrase.** *"This is why I'm high."* The line is the domain, so the sign-off does the funnel work with no "link in bio." Delivered flat and sincere, never explained, never in the first three seconds. See [The Funnel](/social/funnel#the-sign-off).
## Pack Summary
Each episode ships in two formats: a **video reveal** for TikTok and Reels, and a **static side-by-side** for Instagram carousel and X. Same copy, two surfaces.
| ID | Label | Runtime | Register | Test Variable |
| --------- | ----------------- | ------- | ---------------------------------- | ------------------------------------- |
| `LBL-001` | "Top Shelf" | 20s | Comedy | Baseline — does parody beat explainer |
| `LBL-002` | "Private Reserve" | 20s | Comedy | Second in a series, same shape |
| `LBL-003` | The honest label | 25s | Comedy, inverted | Does the anti-joke land |
| `LBL-004` | Edible packaging | 20s | Comedy | Category shift |
| `LBL-005` | "35% THC" | 25s | Comedy carrying the hardest number | The thesis episode |
**Never reproduce a real producer's label, logo, or brand name.** Every "real" label in this show is a **recreated generic graphic** using invented brand names. Parodying an identifiable company's packaging is a trademark problem with no upside, and the joke does not need a real target — the joke is the *category* of language.
The comedy is deadpan. The honest label is written in the same flat regulatory voice as the original. Nothing is exaggerated for effect — the humor comes entirely from accurate information appearing in a place that never contains any.
***
## LBL-001 — "Top Shelf"
| | |
| ----------------- | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| **Runtime** | 20 seconds |
| **Pillar** | Myth Busting |
| **Register** | Comedy |
| **CTA type** | Save |
| **Test variable** | Baseline. Does a pure parody format outperform an explainer carrying the same message? |
| **Data needed** | Verified: myrcene dominates 45.8% of strains. |
**Hooks**
| Slot | ID | Line |
| ---- | ------- | -------------------------------------------------- |
| A | `CM-02` | "This label says 'top shelf.' Let's translate." |
| B | `KG-06` | "Nobody told you what 'top shelf' actually means." |
| C | `BC-05` | "The strain name on your jar is marketing." |
**The Two Labels**
| Real Label | Honest Label |
| ----------------------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| **TOP SHELF** | **SHELF: ONE OF THEM** |
| Hand-Trimmed · Premium Indoor | Trimmed by a person, as is all cannabis |
| THC 24.1% | THC 24.1%, which is 3.6 points above average and will not feel like it |
| Indica-Dominant Hybrid | Myrcene-dominant, like 45.8% of all cannabis |
| \$60 / 3.5g | \$60 because the jar is nice |
**Script**
| Time | Voiceover | On Screen | Shot |
| --------- | ------------------------------------------------ | ------------------------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------- |
| 0:00-0:03 | "This label says top shelf. Let's translate it." | LET'S TRANSLATE | deadpan + static chest-up + real label graphic full-frame |
| 0:03-0:09 | *(no voiceover — let them read)* | *(real label held on screen)* | neutral, holding label still + locked wide + real label centered |
| 0:09-0:11 | *(wipe transition, no voiceover)* | *(wipe to honest label)* | whip cut to + honest label replacing it, same template |
| 0:11-0:18 | *(no voiceover — let them read)* | *(honest label held on screen)* | neutral, motionless + locked wide + honest label centered |
| 0:18-0:20 | "Top shelf describes a shelf." | IT DESCRIBES A SHELF | deadpan, direct to lens + static chest-up + closing card |
**Caption**
> "Top shelf" is a description of furniture. Myrcene-dominant describes 45.8% of all cannabis. One of those tells you something about your night.
>
> Save this for the counter.
>
> This is why I'm high → thisiswhyimhigh.com
**Hashtags** `#iflabelstoldthetruth` `#cannabislabels` `#terpenes` `#dispensary` `#cannabiseducation`
**Cantina Prompt**
```text theme={null}
Professor High — IF LABELS TOLD THE TRUTH — LBL-001
Runtime: 20 seconds | 9:16 vertical
CHARACTERS
- professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and
personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the
main cause of drift.
- No supporting cast — Professor High alone.
- Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a
recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap
rules: /social/cast
TONE: Flat and dry. The comedy is the situation, not the delivery. Sincere
throughout, never winking at the camera or acknowledging that the premise is
funny.
ENVIRONMENT: Working research lab. Dark pine-green backdrop. Recreated generic product
labels fill the frame for most of the runtime — invented brand names only,
never a real producer's packaging, logo, or trade dress.
SHOTS + DIALOGUE:
1. (0:00-0:03) deadpan + static chest-up + real label graphic full-frame
SAYS: "This label says top shelf. Let's translate it."
ON SCREEN: LET'S TRANSLATE
2. (0:03-0:09) neutral, holding label still + locked wide + real label centered
AUDIO/ACTION: (no voiceover — let them read)
ON SCREEN: (real label held on screen)
3. (0:09-0:11) whip cut to + honest label replacing it, same template
AUDIO/ACTION: (wipe transition, no voiceover)
ON SCREEN: (wipe to honest label)
4. (0:11-0:18) neutral, motionless + locked wide + honest label centered
AUDIO/ACTION: (no voiceover — let them read)
ON SCREEN: (honest label held on screen)
5. (0:18-0:20) deadpan, direct to lens + static chest-up + closing card
SAYS: "Top shelf describes a shelf."
ON SCREEN: IT DESCRIBES A SHELF
ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Bold sans-serif, white with heavy stroke, max 6 words
per line, lower third. Key terms in pineapple yellow #D98E04. Word-synced.
Keep 250px clear at the bottom and 120px at the top.
AUDIO: Lo-fi lab bed, very low. A single clean wipe sound on the label swap. Voice normalized loudest.
DO NOT: No smoking, no lit product, no cannabis paraphernalia in frame. No
medical claims. No real dispensary, producer, or lab names. No logos.
```
***
## LBL-002 — "Private Reserve"
| | |
| ----------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| **Runtime** | 20 seconds |
| **Pillar** | Myth Busting |
| **Register** | Comedy |
| **CTA type** | Comment |
| **Test variable** | Second episode, identical structure. Tests whether the format is repeatable or a one-time joke. |
| **Data needed** | Verified: average THC 20.5%. |
**Hooks**
| Slot | ID | Line |
| ---- | ------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
| A | `CM-02` | "This label says 'top shelf.' Let's translate." (adapt: Private Reserve) |
| B | `BC-05` | "The strain name on your jar is marketing." |
| C | `KG-06` | "Nobody told you what 'top shelf' actually means." |
**The Two Labels**
| Real Label | Honest Label |
| ----------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------- |
| **PRIVATE RESERVE** | **WE KEPT THE PRETTY JARS** |
| Small Batch · Limited Release | Every batch is small if you weigh it |
| Connoisseur Grade | Grade assigned by us, about our own product |
| THC 22.8% | THC 22.8%. Average is 20.5%. This is a normal jar |
| Cured 21 Days | This part is real and actually matters |
**Script**
| Time | Voiceover | On Screen | Shot |
| --------- | -------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------ | ---------------------------------------------------------- |
| 0:00-0:03 | "Private reserve. Reserved from whom." | RESERVED FROM WHOM | deadpan + static chest-up + real label graphic full-frame |
| 0:03-0:09 | *(no voiceover)* | *(real label held)* | neutral, holding still + locked wide + real label centered |
| 0:09-0:11 | *(wipe transition)* | *(wipe to honest label)* | whip cut to + honest label, same template |
| 0:11-0:18 | *(no voiceover)* | *(honest label held)* | neutral, motionless + locked wide + honest label centered |
| 0:18-0:20 | "The cure time was the only honest line on there." | THE CURE TIME WAS REAL | neutral, faint approval + static chest-up + closing card |
**Caption**
> "Private reserve" and "connoisseur grade" are grades a company assigned to its own product. The 21-day cure is the only line on that label doing real work.
>
> What's the most meaningless phrase you've seen on a jar?
>
> This is why I'm high → thisiswhyimhigh.com
**Hashtags** `#iflabelstoldthetruth` `#cannabislabels` `#dispensary` `#cannabismarketing` `#cannabiseducation`
**Cantina Prompt**
```text theme={null}
Professor High — IF LABELS TOLD THE TRUTH — LBL-002
Runtime: 20 seconds | 9:16 vertical
CHARACTERS
- professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and
personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the
main cause of drift.
- No supporting cast — Professor High alone.
- Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a
recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap
rules: /social/cast
TONE: Flat and dry. The comedy is the situation, not the delivery. Sincere
throughout, never winking at the camera or acknowledging that the premise is
funny.
ENVIRONMENT: Working research lab. Dark pine-green backdrop. Recreated generic product
labels fill the frame for most of the runtime — invented brand names only,
never a real producer's packaging, logo, or trade dress.
SHOTS + DIALOGUE:
1. (0:00-0:03) deadpan + static chest-up + real label graphic full-frame
SAYS: "Private reserve. Reserved from whom."
ON SCREEN: RESERVED FROM WHOM
2. (0:03-0:09) neutral, holding still + locked wide + real label centered
AUDIO/ACTION: (no voiceover)
ON SCREEN: (real label held)
3. (0:09-0:11) whip cut to + honest label, same template
AUDIO/ACTION: (wipe transition)
ON SCREEN: (wipe to honest label)
4. (0:11-0:18) neutral, motionless + locked wide + honest label centered
AUDIO/ACTION: (no voiceover)
ON SCREEN: (honest label held)
5. (0:18-0:20) neutral, faint approval + static chest-up + closing card
SAYS: "The cure time was the only honest line on there."
ON SCREEN: THE CURE TIME WAS REAL
ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Bold sans-serif, white with heavy stroke, max 6 words
per line, lower third. Key terms in pineapple yellow #D98E04. Word-synced.
Keep 250px clear at the bottom and 120px at the top.
AUDIO: Lo-fi lab bed, very low. A single clean wipe sound on the label swap. Voice normalized loudest.
DO NOT: No smoking, no lit product, no cannabis paraphernalia in frame. No
medical claims. No real dispensary, producer, or lab names. No logos.
```
***
## LBL-003 — The Honest Label
| | |
| ----------------- | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| **Runtime** | 25 seconds |
| **Pillar** | Myth Busting |
| **Register** | Comedy, inverted — the anti-joke |
| **CTA type** | Comment |
| **Test variable** | Does subverting the format land, or does the audience just feel the punchline is missing? A real structural risk worth measuring. |
| **Data needed** | Verified: terpinolene dominates 4.5% of strains. |
**Hooks**
| Slot | ID | Line |
| ---- | ------- | ----------------------------------------------- |
| A | `CM-02` | "This label says 'top shelf.' Let's translate." |
| B | `DD-04` | "Terpinolene leads about 1 in 22 strains." |
| C | `BC-06` | "You have never actually tried terpinolene." |
**The Two Labels**
| Real Label | Honest Label |
| -------------------------------------- | -------------------------------------- |
| **Terpinolene-Dominant** | **Terpinolene-Dominant** |
| Total Terpenes 3.1% · Terpinolene 1.4% | Total Terpenes 3.1% · Terpinolene 1.4% |
| THC 18.2% · CBD 0.4% | THC 18.2% · CBD 0.4% |
| Harvest 03/2026 · Cured 24 Days | Harvest 03/2026 · Cured 24 Days |
| Lab: Full panel available via QR | Lab: Full panel available via QR |
**Script**
| Time | Voiceover | On Screen | Shot |
| --------- | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------ | -------------------------------------------------------------- |
| 0:00-0:03 | "Let's translate this one." | LET'S TRANSLATE | deadpan + static chest-up + real label graphic full-frame |
| 0:03-0:10 | *(no voiceover)* | *(real label held)* | neutral, holding still + locked wide + real label centered |
| 0:10-0:12 | *(wipe transition)* | *(wipe to honest label — identical)* | whip cut to + identical label |
| 0:12-0:19 | *(no voiceover — let the identical label sit uncomfortably long)* | *(identical label held)* | neutral, motionless + locked wide + identical label centered |
| 0:19-0:25 | "There was nothing to translate. Terpene percentages, THC, harvest date, cure time, full panel behind the code. This is what a label looks like when somebody is not selling you a feeling." | NOTHING TO TRANSLATE | neutral, warm, direct to lens + static chest-up + closing card |
**Caption**
> Ran this one through the honesty filter and nothing changed. Terpene percentages, cannabinoids, harvest date, cure time, full panel behind a QR code.
>
> This is what a label looks like when nobody is selling you a feeling. They exist. Ask for them.
>
> This is why I'm high → thisiswhyimhigh.com
**Hashtags** `#iflabelstoldthetruth` `#cannabislabels` `#terpinolene` `#cannabistesting` `#cannabiseducation`
**Cantina Prompt**
```text theme={null}
Professor High — IF LABELS TOLD THE TRUTH — LBL-003
Runtime: 25 seconds | 9:16 vertical
CHARACTERS
- professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and
personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the
main cause of drift.
- No supporting cast — Professor High alone.
- Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a
recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap
rules: /social/cast
TONE: Flat and dry. The comedy is the situation, not the delivery. Sincere
throughout, never winking at the camera or acknowledging that the premise is
funny.
ENVIRONMENT: Working research lab. Dark pine-green backdrop. Recreated generic product
labels fill the frame for most of the runtime — invented brand names only,
never a real producer's packaging, logo, or trade dress.
SHOTS + DIALOGUE:
1. (0:00-0:03) deadpan + static chest-up + real label graphic full-frame
SAYS: "Let's translate this one."
ON SCREEN: LET'S TRANSLATE
2. (0:03-0:10) neutral, holding still + locked wide + real label centered
AUDIO/ACTION: (no voiceover)
ON SCREEN: (real label held)
3. (0:10-0:12) whip cut to + identical label
AUDIO/ACTION: (wipe transition)
ON SCREEN: (wipe to honest label — identical)
4. (0:12-0:19) neutral, motionless + locked wide + identical label centered
AUDIO/ACTION: (no voiceover — let the identical label sit uncomfortably long)
ON SCREEN: (identical label held)
5. (0:19-0:25) neutral, warm, direct to lens + static chest-up + closing card
SAYS: "There was nothing to translate. Terpene percentages, THC, harvest date,
cure time, full panel behind the code. This is what a label looks like
when somebody is not selling you a feeling."
ON SCREEN: NOTHING TO TRANSLATE
ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Bold sans-serif, white with heavy stroke, max 6 words
per line, lower third. Key terms in pineapple yellow #D98E04. Word-synced.
Keep 250px clear at the bottom and 120px at the top.
AUDIO: Lo-fi lab bed, very low. A single clean wipe sound on the label swap. Voice normalized loudest.
DO NOT: No smoking, no lit product, no cannabis paraphernalia in frame. No
medical claims. No real dispensary, producer, or lab names. No logos.
```
***
## LBL-004 — Edible Packaging
| | |
| ----------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| **Runtime** | 20 seconds |
| **Pillar** | Myth Busting |
| **Register** | Comedy |
| **CTA type** | Save |
| **Test variable** | Category shift from flower to edibles. Does the format travel outside strain content? |
| **Data needed** | None from database — dosing and metabolism only. |
**Hooks**
| Slot | ID | Line |
| ---- | ------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
| A | `CM-05` | "Warning: 96% myrcene. You will think about ceiling fans." (adapt for edibles) |
| B | `KG-01` | "There's a reason edibles hit ten times harder." |
| C | `CM-02` | "This label says 'top shelf.' Let's translate." |
**The Two Labels**
| Real Label | Honest Label |
| ------------------ | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| **10mg per piece** | **10mg per piece, on paper** |
| 100mg per package | 100mg per package. You will eat two and feel nothing for 45 minutes |
| Start low, go slow | Start low, go slow. Nobody has ever done this |
| Effects may vary | Effects will vary, because your liver converts this into a different compound than the one on this label |
| Keep refrigerated | Keep refrigerated |
**Script**
| Time | Voiceover | On Screen | Shot |
| --------- | --------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------ | ------------------------------------------------------------ |
| 0:00-0:03 | "Edible packaging. This one is a public service." | A PUBLIC SERVICE | deadpan + static chest-up + real package graphic full-frame |
| 0:03-0:09 | *(no voiceover)* | *(real label held)* | neutral, holding still + locked wide + real package centered |
| 0:09-0:11 | *(wipe transition)* | *(wipe to honest label)* | whip cut to + honest label, same template |
| 0:11-0:18 | *(no voiceover)* | *(honest label held)* | neutral, motionless + locked wide + honest label centered |
| 0:18-0:20 | "Your liver is the actual dosing instruction. Save this." | YOUR LIVER IS THE DOSE | deadpan + static chest-up + closing card |
**Caption**
> "Start low, go slow" is on every package and nobody has ever done it. The dose on the label isn't the compound you feel — your liver converts THC into something that crosses into the brain more readily.
>
> Save this before your next one.
>
> This is why I'm high → thisiswhyimhigh.com
**Hashtags** `#iflabelstoldthetruth` `#edibles` `#cannabislabels` `#cannabisdosing` `#cannabiseducation`
**Cantina Prompt**
```text theme={null}
Professor High — IF LABELS TOLD THE TRUTH — LBL-004
Runtime: 20 seconds | 9:16 vertical
CHARACTERS
- professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and
personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the
main cause of drift.
- No supporting cast — Professor High alone.
- Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a
recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap
rules: /social/cast
TONE: Flat and dry. The comedy is the situation, not the delivery. Sincere
throughout, never winking at the camera or acknowledging that the premise is
funny.
ENVIRONMENT: Working research lab. Dark pine-green backdrop. Recreated generic product
labels fill the frame for most of the runtime — invented brand names only,
never a real producer's packaging, logo, or trade dress.
SHOTS + DIALOGUE:
1. (0:00-0:03) deadpan + static chest-up + real package graphic full-frame
SAYS: "Edible packaging. This one is a public service."
ON SCREEN: A PUBLIC SERVICE
2. (0:03-0:09) neutral, holding still + locked wide + real package centered
AUDIO/ACTION: (no voiceover)
ON SCREEN: (real label held)
3. (0:09-0:11) whip cut to + honest label, same template
AUDIO/ACTION: (wipe transition)
ON SCREEN: (wipe to honest label)
4. (0:11-0:18) neutral, motionless + locked wide + honest label centered
AUDIO/ACTION: (no voiceover)
ON SCREEN: (honest label held)
5. (0:18-0:20) deadpan + static chest-up + closing card
SAYS: "Your liver is the actual dosing instruction. Save this."
ON SCREEN: YOUR LIVER IS THE DOSE
ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Bold sans-serif, white with heavy stroke, max 6 words
per line, lower third. Key terms in pineapple yellow #D98E04. Word-synced.
Keep 250px clear at the bottom and 120px at the top.
AUDIO: Lo-fi lab bed, very low. A single clean wipe sound on the label swap. Voice normalized loudest.
DO NOT: No smoking, no lit product, no cannabis paraphernalia in frame. No
medical claims. No real dispensary, producer, or lab names. No logos.
```
***
## LBL-005 — "35% THC"
| | |
| ----------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| **Runtime** | 25 seconds |
| **Pillar** | Myth Busting |
| **Register** | Comedy carrying the hardest number we have |
| **CTA type** | Comment |
| **Test variable** | The thesis episode. Highest share-rate candidate in the pack — parody form wrapped around the strongest verified claim. |
| **Data needed** | Verified: under 0.5% of strains reach 30%; ceiling on record 34.8%; average 20.5%. |
**Hooks**
| Slot | ID | Line |
| ---- | ------- | ------------------------------------------------- |
| A | `DD-02` | "Almost no strain actually hits 30% THC." |
| B | `BC-01` | "THC percentage is the biggest scam in cannabis." |
| C | `CM-02` | "This label says 'top shelf.' Let's translate." |
**The Two Labels**
| Real Label | Honest Label |
| ------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------- |
| **35.2% THC** | **35.2% THC, allegedly** |
| Highest Potency Available | Higher than any strain we have ever recorded |
| Lab Verified | Verified by a lab paid by the people selling this |
| Ultra Premium | The highest figure we have ever recorded is 34.8% |
| \$75 / 3.5g | \$75 for a number |
**Script**
| Time | Voiceover | On Screen | Shot |
| --------- | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------ | ---------------------------------------------------------- |
| 0:00-0:03 | "Thirty-five point two percent. Let's translate." | 35.2% | deadpan + static chest-up + real label graphic full-frame |
| 0:03-0:10 | *(no voiceover)* | *(real label held)* | neutral, holding still + locked wide + real label centered |
| 0:10-0:12 | *(wipe transition)* | *(wipe to honest label)* | whip cut to + honest label, same template |
| 0:12-0:20 | *(no voiceover)* | *(honest label held)* | neutral, motionless + locked wide + honest label centered |
| 0:20-0:25 | "Fewer than one in two hundred strains reaches thirty. This one claims to beat every strain we have ever recorded. For seventy-five dollars." | FEWER THAN 1 IN 200 | deadpan, direct to lens + static chest-up + closing card |
**Caption**
> Fewer than 1 in 200 strains reaches 30% THC. The highest figure we have on record anywhere is 34.8%.
>
> This label claims 35.2%. For \$75. What's the highest number you've seen on a menu?
>
> This is why I'm high → thisiswhyimhigh.com
**Hashtags** `#iflabelstoldthetruth` `#thcpercentage` `#cannabislabels` `#cannabistesting` `#cannabiseducation`
**Cantina Prompt**
```text theme={null}
Professor High — IF LABELS TOLD THE TRUTH — LBL-005
Runtime: 25 seconds | 9:16 vertical
CHARACTERS
- professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and
personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the
main cause of drift.
- No supporting cast — Professor High alone.
- Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a
recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap
rules: /social/cast
TONE: Flat and dry. The comedy is the situation, not the delivery. Sincere
throughout, never winking at the camera or acknowledging that the premise is
funny.
ENVIRONMENT: Working research lab. Dark pine-green backdrop. Recreated generic product
labels fill the frame for most of the runtime — invented brand names only,
never a real producer's packaging, logo, or trade dress.
SHOTS + DIALOGUE:
1. (0:00-0:03) deadpan + static chest-up + real label graphic full-frame
SAYS: "Thirty-five point two percent. Let's translate."
ON SCREEN: 35.2%
2. (0:03-0:10) neutral, holding still + locked wide + real label centered
AUDIO/ACTION: (no voiceover)
ON SCREEN: (real label held)
3. (0:10-0:12) whip cut to + honest label, same template
AUDIO/ACTION: (wipe transition)
ON SCREEN: (wipe to honest label)
4. (0:12-0:20) neutral, motionless + locked wide + honest label centered
AUDIO/ACTION: (no voiceover)
ON SCREEN: (honest label held)
5. (0:20-0:25) deadpan, direct to lens + static chest-up + closing card
SAYS: "Fewer than one in two hundred strains reaches thirty. This one claims
to beat every strain we have ever recorded. For seventy-five dollars."
ON SCREEN: FEWER THAN 1 IN 200
ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Bold sans-serif, white with heavy stroke, max 6 words
per line, lower third. Key terms in pineapple yellow #D98E04. Word-synced.
Keep 250px clear at the bottom and 120px at the top.
AUDIO: Lo-fi lab bed, very low. A single clean wipe sound on the label swap. Voice normalized loudest.
DO NOT: No smoking, no lit product, no cannabis paraphernalia in frame. No
medical claims. No real dispensary, producer, or lab names. No logos.
```
***
## Production Batch Notes
* **Every label is a recreated generic graphic.** Invented brand names, invented producer names, no real logos. The joke targets a category of language, never a company.
* Both labels use the **identical template** — same font, same layout, same spacing. The only variable is the copy. That visual sameness is what makes the swap land.
* Hold each label on screen long enough to actually read. Roughly six seconds per label. The instinct to cut faster is wrong here; the audience needs to finish reading before the wipe.
* Voiceover is minimal by design. The words on screen carry the episode. This is the only show in the library where silence is most of the runtime.
* Watermark every frame. This format gets screenshotted and reposted more than any other, and an unwatermarked screenshot is free content for someone else.
* Ship the static carousel version the same day. Instagram and X will outperform TikTok on this format and the static version costs almost nothing once the graphics exist.
* `LBL-003` is the structural risk. An anti-joke either lands as a genuinely warm moment or reads as a missing punchline. If it underperforms badly, cut the inverted variant and keep the format straight.
## Related
Format, cadence, success metrics.
Every number on every honest label.
How this pack gets read.