This Edible Ain't Shit — Scripts

Professor High — THIS EDIBLE AIN'T SHIT — EAS-001
Runtime: 16 seconds | 9:16 vertical
CHARACTERS
- professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and
  personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the
  main cause of drift.
- THE MAXIMIZER — SWAPPABLE. Use the-maximizer-v1 if you have built it, or
  cast ANY Cantina character who reads as: confident, decisive and completely
  wrong — optimising for the biggest number.
- Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a
  recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap
  rules: /social/cast

TONE: Nature-documentary. Professor High observes with genuine scientific
interest and zero judgment. Completely deadpan. He never winks at the camera
and never acknowledges that anything funny is happening.

IMPORTANT — OPENING: Start COLD on THE MAXIMIZER already talking. No title
card, no logo, no narration first. No on-screen text until the final beat.

IMPORTANT — BEAT 3 IS A HARD CUT: No dissolve, no wipe, no time-lapse, no
transition of any kind. Shot 3 must use the EXACT same camera position, lens
and framing as shot 1 — only the character has changed. The abruptness is
the joke.

ENVIRONMENT: A stylized generic living room — plain couch, blank wall, one
lamp. No brand names or logos. NOTHING is ever eaten, held, lit, or consumed
on camera at any point. No food, no packaging, no product in frame.
Professor High is cut in from his lab and is never in the room.

SHOTS + DIALOGUE:
1. (0:00-0:04) COLD OPEN. Locked wide. THE MAXIMIZER reclined on the couch,
   completely relaxed, waving one hand dismissively.
   SAYS (MAXIMIZER): "This edible ain't shit."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
2. (0:04-0:09) Cut to Professor High in the lab. Static chest-up, deadpan,
   direct to lens.
   SAYS (PROF): "It is not, yet. He swallowed it. That means it goes to his
   liver first, and his liver does not return it unchanged."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
3. (0:09-0:14) HARD CUT back to the couch. IDENTICAL framing to shot 1. The
   Maximizer is now rigid, upright, eyes enormous, staring past camera.
   Whispering.
   SAYS (MAXIMIZER): "...how long has the ceiling been doing that."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
4. (0:14-0:16) Professor High, static chest-up, entirely unmoved.
   SAYS (PROF): "Forty minutes. This is why I'm high."
   ON SCREEN: THIS IS WHY I'M HIGH

ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Text ONLY on the final beat. Bold sans-serif, white with
heavy stroke, lower third. Keep 250px clear at the bottom and 120px at the top.

AUDIO: Original sound. Sparse nature-documentary strings under beats 1-2, drop
to total silence on the hard cut. Voice normalized loudest.

DO NOT: No smoking, no eating, no product, no packaging, no paraphernalia in
frame. No medical claims. No real brand, dispensary, producer or lab names.
Do not depict anyone consuming anything.

Professor High — THIS EDIBLE AIN'T SHIT — EAS-002
Runtime: 15 seconds | 9:16 vertical
CHARACTERS
- professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and
  personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the
  main cause of drift.
- THE FIRST-TIMER — SWAPPABLE. Use the-first-timer-v1 if you have built it, or
  cast ANY Cantina character who reads as: small, upright and sincere, asks
  the question nobody else will.
- Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a
  recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap
  rules: /social/cast

TONE: Nature-documentary, deadpan. IMPORTANT — the First-Timer is never
humiliated. She is sympathetic and did her best. Professor High is not
mocking her; he is explaining why care was not enough.

IMPORTANT — OPENING: Start COLD on THE FIRST-TIMER already talking. No title
card, no logo. No on-screen text until the final beat.

IMPORTANT — BEAT 3 IS A HARD CUT: identical camera position, lens and framing
to shot 1. No transition of any kind.

ENVIRONMENT: A stylized plain kitchen table, blank wall behind. No brands or
logos. NOTHING is eaten, held, cut, or consumed on camera. No food or
packaging in frame at any point. Professor High is cut in from his lab.

SHOTS + DIALOGUE:
1. (0:00-0:04) COLD OPEN. Locked wide. THE FIRST-TIMER sitting upright and
   composed at the table, talking to someone off-screen, slightly proud of
   herself.
   SAYS (FIRST-TIMER): "I'm being smart about it. I only took half."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
2. (0:04-0:09) Cut to Professor High in the lab. Static chest-up, deadpan.
   SAYS (PROF): "Half of a piece is not half of a dose. Nothing in there was
   mixed evenly. She has taken somewhere between a little and all of it."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
3. (0:09-0:13) HARD CUT. IDENTICAL framing to shot 1. Same chair. She is now
   gripping the edge of the table with both hands, very still, very quiet.
   SAYS (FIRST-TIMER): "It was the all of it one."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
4. (0:13-0:15) Professor High, static chest-up, gentle rather than smug.
   SAYS (PROF): "It usually is. This is why I'm high."
   ON SCREEN: THIS IS WHY I'M HIGH

ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Final beat only. Bold sans-serif, white, heavy stroke,
lower third. 250px clear at bottom, 120px at top.

AUDIO: Original sound. Sparse strings, cut to silence on the hard cut.

DO NOT: No eating, no product, no packaging, no paraphernalia. No medical
claims. No real brand or producer names. Do not depict anyone consuming.

Professor High — THIS EDIBLE AIN'T SHIT — EAS-003
Runtime: 18 seconds | 9:16 vertical
CHARACTERS
- professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and
  personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the
  main cause of drift.
- THE ORACLE — SWAPPABLE. Use the-oracle-v1 if you have built it, or cast ANY
  Cantina character who reads as: reclined and generous, explains your own
  experience to you with total confidence.
- Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a
  recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap
  rules: /social/cast

TONE: Nature-documentary, deadpan. The Oracle states wrong things with total
confidence and philosophical hand gestures. Professor High corrects the
chemistry, never the person.

IMPORTANT — OPENING: Start COLD on THE ORACLE already mid-argument. No title
card, no logo, no narration first. No on-screen text until the final beat.

IMPORTANT — BEAT 3 IS A HARD CUT: identical camera position, lens and framing
to shot 1.

ENVIRONMENT: Stylized generic living room, plain couch, blank wall. No brands
or logos. NOTHING consumed, held, lit, or eaten on camera at any point. No
product or packaging in frame. Professor High is cut in from his lab.

SHOTS + DIALOGUE:
1. (0:00-0:05) COLD OPEN. Locked wide. THE ORACLE reclined, gesturing
   philosophically, mid-argument with someone off-screen.
   SAYS (ORACLE): "Edibles don't work on me. I smoke every day. My tolerance
   is, like, insane."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
2. (0:05-0:12) Cut to Professor High in the lab. Static chest-up, deadpan,
   slow push-in across the line.
   SAYS (PROF): "His tolerance is to inhaled cannabis. This did not go into
   his lungs. It went into his liver, which produces a different compound
   entirely. He has a tolerance to a different molecule."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
3. (0:12-0:16) HARD CUT. IDENTICAL framing to shot 1. The Oracle is now flat
   on his back on the same couch, arms at his sides, staring straight up at
   the ceiling. Whispering.
   SAYS (ORACLE): "I have never been high before in my life."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
4. (0:16-0:18) Professor High, static chest-up, entirely unmoved.
   SAYS (PROF): "Correct, technically. This is why I'm high."
   ON SCREEN: THIS IS WHY I'M HIGH

ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Final beat only. Bold sans-serif, white, heavy stroke,
lower third. 250px clear at bottom, 120px at top.

AUDIO: Original sound. Sparse strings under 1-2, silence on the hard cut.

DO NOT: No smoking, no eating, no product, no packaging, no paraphernalia. No
medical claims. No real brand, dispensary, producer or lab names.

Professor High — THIS EDIBLE AIN'T SHIT — EAS-004
Runtime: 16 seconds | 9:16 vertical
CHARACTERS
- professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and
  personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the
  main cause of drift.
- THE MAXIMIZER — SWAPPABLE. Use the-maximizer-v1 if you have built it, or
  cast ANY Cantina character who reads as: confident, decisive and completely
  wrong — optimising for the biggest number.
- Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a
  recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap
  rules: /social/cast

TONE: Nature-documentary, deadpan, zero judgment.

IMPORTANT — OPENING: Start COLD on THE MAXIMIZER already talking. No title
card, no logo. No on-screen text until the final beat.

IMPORTANT — BEAT 3 IS A HARD CUT: identical camera position, lens and framing
to shot 1.

ENVIRONMENT: Stylized plain kitchen, blank cabinets, no brands or logos.
NOTHING eaten, held, or consumed on camera. No food or packaging in frame.
Professor High is cut in from his lab.

SHOTS + DIALOGUE:
1. (0:00-0:05) COLD OPEN. Locked wide. THE MAXIMIZER standing in the kitchen,
   visibly pleased with his own cleverness.
   SAYS (MAXIMIZER): "I took it on an empty stomach so it'd be, like, gentler.
   This edible ain't shit."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
2. (0:05-0:11) Cut to Professor High in the lab. Static chest-up, deadpan.
   SAYS (PROF): "That is not what an empty stomach does. He has changed how
   fast it arrives, not how much of it arrives. He has made it faster."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
3. (0:11-0:14) HARD CUT. IDENTICAL framing to shot 1 — same kitchen, same
   lens. He is now sitting on the floor with his back against the cabinets,
   completely calm, looking at nothing.
   SAYS (MAXIMIZER): "It was gentle for six minutes."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
4. (0:14-0:16) Professor High, static chest-up.
   SAYS (PROF): "Six is generous. This is why I'm high."
   ON SCREEN: THIS IS WHY I'M HIGH

ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Final beat only. Bold sans-serif, white, heavy stroke,
lower third. 250px clear at bottom, 120px at top.

AUDIO: Original sound. Sparse strings, silence on the hard cut.

DO NOT: No eating, no product, no packaging, no paraphernalia. No medical
claims or dosing instructions. No real brand or producer names.

Professor High — THIS EDIBLE AIN'T SHIT — EAS-005
Runtime: 20 seconds | 9:16 vertical
CHARACTERS
- professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and
  personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the
  main cause of drift.
- THE MAXIMIZER — SWAPPABLE. Use the-maximizer-v1 if you have built it, or
  cast ANY Cantina character who reads as: confident, decisive and completely
  wrong — optimising for the biggest number.
- Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a
  recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap
  rules: /social/cast

TONE: Nature-documentary, deadpan. Professor High narrates an inevitability
he has clearly watched many times before.

IMPORTANT — OPENING: Start COLD on THE MAXIMIZER already talking. No title
card, no logo. No on-screen text until the final beat.

IMPORTANT — BEAT 4 IS A HARD CUT and is HELD LONG with no dialogue. The
silence is the punchline. Identical camera position, lens and framing to
shot 1.

ENVIRONMENT: Stylized generic living room, plain couch, blank wall. No brands
or logos. NOTHING eaten, held, or consumed on camera at any point — when he
"takes another one" he simply walks out of frame. No product or packaging
visible. Professor High is cut in from his lab.

SHOTS + DIALOGUE:
1. (0:00-0:04) COLD OPEN. Locked wide. THE MAXIMIZER on the couch, checking
   his wrist, impatient.
   SAYS (MAXIMIZER): "It's been like half an hour. This edible ain't shit."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
2. (0:04-0:08) Cut to Professor High in the lab. Static chest-up, deadpan.
   SAYS (PROF): "It has been twenty-two minutes. He is about to make the
   decision that defines his evening."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
3. (0:08-0:12) Back to the couch, same framing. He stands decisively and
   walks out of frame. Cut to Professor High for the last two words.
   SAYS (MAXIMIZER): "I'm taking another one."
   SAYS (PROF): "There it is."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
4. (0:12-0:17) HARD CUT. IDENTICAL framing to shot 1. He is back on the couch,
   fully horizontal, eyes closed, completely motionless. NO DIALOGUE. Hold the
   shot for the full five seconds.
   ON SCREEN: nothing
5. (0:17-0:20) Professor High, static chest-up.
   SAYS (PROF): "Both of them arrived at the same time. They always do. This
   is why I'm high."
   ON SCREEN: THIS IS WHY I'M HIGH

ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Final beat only. Bold sans-serif, white, heavy stroke,
lower third. 250px clear at bottom, 120px at top.

AUDIO: Original sound. Sparse strings under 1-3, TOTAL SILENCE across the held
shot 4, strings return on 5.

DO NOT: No eating, no product, no packaging, no paraphernalia. No medical
claims or dosing advice. No real brand or producer names.

Professor High — THIS EDIBLE AIN'T SHIT — EAS-006
Runtime: 15 seconds | 9:16 vertical
CHARACTERS
- professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and
  personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the
  main cause of drift.
- THE ORACLE — SWAPPABLE. Use the-oracle-v1 if you have built it, or cast ANY
  Cantina character who reads as: reclined and generous, explains your own
  experience to you with total confidence.
- Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a
  recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap
  rules: /social/cast

TONE: Nature-documentary, deadpan.

IMPORTANT — OPENING: Start COLD on THE ORACLE already mid-conversation. No
title card, no logo. No on-screen text until the final beat.

IMPORTANT — BEAT 3 IS A HARD CUT: identical camera position, lens and framing
to shot 1.

ENVIRONMENT: Stylized generic living room, plain couch, blank wall. No brands
or logos. NOTHING eaten, held, or consumed on camera. No product or packaging
in frame. Professor High is cut in from his lab.

SHOTS + DIALOGUE:
1. (0:00-0:04) COLD OPEN. Locked wide. THE ORACLE reclined, waving the idea
   away mid-conversation.
   SAYS (ORACLE): "It's ten milligrams. That's nothing. This edible ain't
   shit."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
2. (0:04-0:09) Cut to Professor High in the lab. Static chest-up, deadpan.
   SAYS (PROF): "Ten is not nothing. Ten is the entire serving. He has said
   the number out loud and heard none of it."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
3. (0:09-0:13) HARD CUT. IDENTICAL framing to shot 1. He is bolt upright,
   rigid, whispering to no one in particular.
   SAYS (ORACLE): "Ten is a lot of milligrams."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
4. (0:13-0:15) Professor High, static chest-up.
   SAYS (PROF): "It is the amount of milligrams. This is why I'm high."
   ON SCREEN: THIS IS WHY I'M HIGH

ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Final beat only. Bold sans-serif, white, heavy stroke,
lower third. 250px clear at bottom, 120px at top.

AUDIO: Original sound. Sparse strings, silence on the hard cut.

DO NOT: No eating, no product, no packaging, no paraphernalia. No medical
claims, no dosing recommendations. No real brand or producer names.

Professor High — THIS EDIBLE AIN'T SHIT — EAS-007
Runtime: 17 seconds | 9:16 vertical
CHARACTERS
- professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and
  personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the
  main cause of drift.
- THE MAXIMIZER — SWAPPABLE. Use the-maximizer-v1 if you have built it, or
  cast ANY Cantina character who reads as: confident, decisive and completely
  wrong — optimising for the biggest number.
- Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a
  recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap
  rules: /social/cast
NOTE: "Dave" is never seen and never needs a character. He stays off-screen.

TONE: Nature-documentary, deadpan.

IMPORTANT — OPENING: Start COLD on THE MAXIMIZER already talking. No title
card, no logo. No on-screen text until the final beat.

IMPORTANT — BEAT 3 IS A HARD CUT: identical camera position, lens and framing
to shot 1.

ENVIRONMENT: Stylized plain kitchen table, blank wall. No brands or logos.
NOTHING eaten, held, or consumed on camera. No food or packaging in frame.
Professor High is cut in from his lab.

SHOTS + DIALOGUE:
1. (0:00-0:05) COLD OPEN. Locked wide. THE MAXIMIZER sitting at the table,
   casual, talking to someone off-screen.
   SAYS (MAXIMIZER): "Dave made 'em. He said they're mild. This edible ain't
   shit."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
2. (0:05-0:12) Cut to Professor High in the lab. Static chest-up, deadpan,
   slow push-in.
   SAYS (PROF): "Dave does not know either. Nothing here was measured, nothing
   was tested, and 'mild' is Dave's opinion of his own work. There is no
   number. There is only Dave."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
3. (0:12-0:15) HARD CUT. IDENTICAL framing to shot 1. He is now face down on
   the table, arms limp. Muffled delivery.
   SAYS (MAXIMIZER): "Dave has ruined my life."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
4. (0:15-0:17) Professor High, static chest-up.
   SAYS (PROF): "Dave is asleep. This is why I'm high."
   ON SCREEN: THIS IS WHY I'M HIGH

ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Final beat only. Bold sans-serif, white, heavy stroke,
lower third. 250px clear at bottom, 120px at top.

AUDIO: Original sound. Sparse strings, silence on the hard cut.

DO NOT: No eating, no product, no packaging, no paraphernalia. No medical
claims. No real brand, producer or lab names. Do not depict anyone consuming.

Professor High — THIS EDIBLE AIN'T SHIT — EAS-008
Runtime: 16 seconds | 9:16 vertical
CHARACTERS
- professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and
  personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the
  main cause of drift.
- THE FIRST-TIMER — SWAPPABLE. Use the-first-timer-v1 if you have built it, or
  cast ANY Cantina character who reads as: small, upright and sincere, asks
  the question nobody else will.
- Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a
  recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap
  rules: /social/cast

TONE: Nature-documentary, deadpan. The First-Timer is sympathetic, never
mocked.

IMPORTANT — OPENING: Start COLD on THE FIRST-TIMER already talking. No title
card, no logo. No on-screen text until the final beat.

IMPORTANT — BEAT 3 IS A HARD CUT: identical camera position, lens and framing
to shot 1.

ENVIRONMENT: Stylized plain kitchen, blank counters. No brands or logos.
NOTHING is drunk, eaten, held, or consumed on camera. No cans, bottles, cups
or packaging in frame at any point. Professor High is cut in from his lab.

SHOTS + DIALOGUE:
1. (0:00-0:04) COLD OPEN. Locked wide. THE FIRST-TIMER standing in the
   kitchen, shrugging, relaxed.
   SAYS (FIRST-TIMER): "It's a drink. It's basically a soda. This edible ain't
   shit."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
2. (0:04-0:10) Cut to Professor High in the lab. Static chest-up, deadpan.
   SAYS (PROF): "Beverages are formulated to arrive faster than a solid. She
   has chosen the version specifically engineered to not make her wait."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
3. (0:10-0:14) HARD CUT. IDENTICAL framing to shot 1. She is now sitting bolt
   upright on the kitchen floor, eyes very wide.
   SAYS (FIRST-TIMER): "That was so fast."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
4. (0:14-0:16) Professor High, static chest-up.
   SAYS (PROF): "That is the feature. This is why I'm high."
   ON SCREEN: THIS IS WHY I'M HIGH

ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Final beat only. Bold sans-serif, white, heavy stroke,
lower third. 250px clear at bottom, 120px at top.

AUDIO: Original sound. Sparse strings, silence on the hard cut.

DO NOT: No drinking, no eating, no containers, no packaging, no paraphernalia.
No medical claims. No real brand or producer names.

Professor High — THIS EDIBLE AIN'T SHIT — EAS-009
Runtime: 18 seconds | 9:16 vertical
CHARACTERS
- professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and
  personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the
  main cause of drift.
- THE MAXIMIZER — SWAPPABLE. Use the-maximizer-v1 if you have built it, or
  cast ANY Cantina character who reads as: confident, decisive and completely
  wrong — optimising for the biggest number.
- Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a
  recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap
  rules: /social/cast

TONE: Nature-documentary, deadpan.

IMPORTANT — OPENING: Start COLD on THE MAXIMIZER already talking. No title
card, no logo. No on-screen text until the final beat.

IMPORTANT — BEAT 3 IS A HARD CUT: identical camera position, lens and framing
to shot 1.

ENVIRONMENT: Stylized plain kitchen table, blank wall, a simple analog wall
clock visible in the background of the wide shots. No brands or logos. NOTHING
eaten, held, or consumed on camera. No food or packaging in frame. Professor
High is cut in from his lab.

SHOTS + DIALOGUE:
1. (0:00-0:05) COLD OPEN. Locked wide. THE MAXIMIZER at the table, cheerful,
   checking his wrist. Clock on the wall behind reads 11.
   SAYS (MAXIMIZER): "It's eleven. I've got a thing at three, I'll be totally
   fine by then. This edible ain't shit."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
2. (0:05-0:11) Cut to Professor High in the lab. Static chest-up, deadpan.
   SAYS (PROF): "Inhaled cannabis is largely done in a couple of hours.
   Swallowed cannabis is not. He has budgeted for the wrong drug."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
3. (0:11-0:15) HARD CUT. IDENTICAL framing to shot 1. Same chair. He is
   staring at a blank wall, entirely serene. The clock behind him now reads 3.
   SAYS (MAXIMIZER): "I don't have a thing at three. I've never had a thing."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
4. (0:15-0:18) Professor High, static chest-up.
   SAYS (PROF): "He does have a thing at three. This is why I'm high."
   ON SCREEN: THIS IS WHY I'M HIGH

ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Final beat only. Bold sans-serif, white, heavy stroke,
lower third. 250px clear at bottom, 120px at top.

AUDIO: Original sound. Sparse strings, a faint clock tick under shots 1 and 3,
silence on the hard cut itself.

DO NOT: No eating, no product, no packaging, no paraphernalia. No medical
claims. No real brand or producer names.

Professor High — THIS EDIBLE AIN'T SHIT — EAS-010
Runtime: 20 seconds | 9:16 vertical
CHARACTERS
- professor-high-v1 — LOCKED. Already loaded with his image, voice and
  personality. Do NOT re-describe him — re-describing a saved character is the
  main cause of drift.
- THE FIRST-TIMER — SWAPPABLE. Use the-first-timer-v1 if you have built it, or
  cast ANY Cantina character who reads as: small, upright and sincere, asks
  the question nobody else will.
- Any supporting role may be recast freely between packs, never inside one — a
  recast mid-pack turns a format test into a casting test. Briefs and swap
  rules: /social/cast

TONE: Nature-documentary, deadpan — but this one is SINCERE, not comic. There
is no reversal and no punchline. Professor High is genuinely explaining
something. Warmth is allowed here.

IMPORTANT — OPENING: Start COLD on THE FIRST-TIMER already talking. No title
card, no logo, no narration first.

IMPORTANT — THERE IS NO HARD CUT IN THIS EPISODE. The format is deliberately
broken. She never collapses. Do not add a reversal.

ENVIRONMENT: Stylized generic living room, plain couch, blank wall, then
Professor High's lab. No brands or logos. NOTHING eaten, held, or consumed on
camera. No product or packaging in frame.

SHOTS + DIALOGUE:
1. (0:00-0:04) COLD OPEN. Locked wide. THE FIRST-TIMER on the couch, flat and
   unimpressed, checking her wrist.
   SAYS (FIRST-TIMER): "It's been two hours. This edible ain't shit."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
2. (0:04-0:09) Cut to Professor High in the lab. Static chest-up, deadpan.
   SAYS (PROF): "Yes. This time that is not a setup. It is the correct
   observation."
   ON SCREEN: nothing
3. (0:09-0:16) Slow push-in on Professor High. A single card enters the lower
   third partway through.
   SAYS (PROF): "The liver enzyme that does this conversion varies from person
   to person. Some people convert quickly, some slowly, some barely at all.
   Same dose, same body weight, two entirely different evenings. She is not
   doing it wrong. She is just built differently."
   ON SCREEN: LIVER ENZYME VARIATION
4. (0:16-0:20) Static chest-up, the faintest smile.
   SAYS (PROF): "Which is why what worked for your friend is not data about
   you. Look up your own. This is why I'm high."
   ON SCREEN: THIS IS WHY I'M HIGH

ON-SCREEN TEXT STYLE: Text on beats 3 and 4 only. Bold sans-serif, white with
heavy stroke, lower third, pineapple yellow #D98E04 on the key term. 250px
clear at bottom, 120px at top.

AUDIO: Original sound. Sparse nature-documentary strings throughout — no
silence beat, since there is no reversal to land.

DO NOT: No eating, no product, no packaging, no paraphernalia. No medical
claims — this is metabolic variation described as variation, never as a
condition, diagnosis, or reason to take more. No real brand or producer names.